two days

So many things to say yet so little time.

2 days. 720 days of high school and we only have 2 left. 13 (14 if pre-k counts) years of school and we’re finally through.

I don’t think the shock has hit me yet.

I don’t really know what to think. I’ve cried some, laughed some, smiled some, but mostly lived some, or at least tried to. All year I’ve tried to approach everything not as another step in a final countdown but more as the final lap of this race called childhood we started a long time ago. More as closing night of a beloved show, like the closing night of Addams Family. Our closing night was supposed to be anticipated, but not rushed into; looked forward to, but not longed for; and celebrated, but not depressing. All year all I wanted to do was enjoy the ride, and I’m happy to say that I loved it.

Senior year exceeded my expectations. New friends, amazing experiences, and new discoveries about myself and people I thought I really knew allowed me to finish this senior-year-transition from childhood to adulthood (even though I’ve been 18 for 6 months now). The meaning of friendship took on a whole new level. I learned to appreciate those friends who have been with me from the beginning, and treasure those who I know will be with me till the end. I’m crying now just thinking about it.

It’s mind-blowing that after 9 years in Oxford with these 220 people in the class of 2015 we are all about to be separated for good. Of course, the majority of our class is staying in-state and together at Ole Miss; but for the few of us who dare to venture out of Mississippi, the distance between us and those we will leave behind is somewhat unfathomable. I don’t think I will really grasp the ending of this high school saga until May 29^th, on that graduation stage. I’m not denying my emotions (Davenport taught me better than that) but I am denying to myself the idea of leaving this life behind. I guess it makes these last 2 days somewhat more bearable—it would be a lot harder to spend 5 hours at school if I couldn’t stop crying.

I would be lying if I said my year was without curves, but there was nothing I couldn’t handle with a little extra strength. God was definitely my rock this year. There were problems that arose that I had never dealt with before, like the wrongful loss of a dear lifelong friend (RIP T Ward). Just when I thought timing couldn’t get any worse I was reminded by my favorite Bible verse (Jeremiah 29:11) that the Lord has a Plan and that His plans are to prosper us, NOT to harm us. It hit me this year that although we may plan things for our lives, God’s Plan will always prevail and will ultimately be greater than anything we could have chosen for ourselves. Even when we don’t agree with His Plan, we can trust that He is working everything for our greater good and that everything happens for a reason (Romans 8:28). God really revealed that to me this year through everything I personally went through in my life.

High school has not been perfect but it has been real and it has given me so many beautiful memories that I will treasure forever, and really what more could I ask for? My time at Oxford High School will always hold a special place in my heart, and although part of me is ready to go there is another part that will always long for the familiarity and comfort of this life I have known for 9 years here in ox. Here’s to spending the next two days with this Class at OHS for the last time 🙂 what a bittersweet thought.

***“For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”***