This summer, I have seen and understood the beauty of patience and God’s perfect timing in so many new ways. He has been revealing Himself to me and teaching me to walk patiently beside Him through this summer, and I am so overwhelmed with revelations that it is time to write my thoughts out:
There have been so many happenings this summer that brought me to these revelations, but there are a select few events I want to focus on:
He brought me to Pinelake Church Oxford when I needed it most.
He brought me my voice back when I could not be silent any longer.
He brought me new friendships and returned older ones just when I felt most lonely.
He brought back a sense of community that I have long been missing.
And He has taught me that it is okay not to know all of The Plan.
But those are just a few examples.
Everything works out by His perfect timing, not by ours. That is a lesson that it has taken me a long time to come to terms with, because anyone who knows me knows I am Such a planner. I just like to know exactly when things are going to happen ahead of time, and sometimes down to the minute. And that’s not always how life works, especially when it comes to revelations and information from God. I just have to trust that though my clock may be going a bit faster than God’s clock, they are both moving forward through time together.
As I recorded in a previous blog at the beginning of the summer, I came into this summer full of emotional, spiritual and physical baggage, with disappointments, discouragement and sickness abounding. I was in desperate need of a “break” from all of these stress-related things. I needed a break from the emotions of disappointment and sadness, from a discouraging and disheartening spiritual lapse, and from the vocal illness that plagued me for the two and a half months leading up to summer. It was just time for something to get better.
This break started when God helped me literally put the brakes on life at the beginning of spring break, when I got in a horrible car accident.
Flash forward to now. I have come so far in such a short period of time, and I have so much to say and so few words with which to share.
I have become actively involved in a new worship team, filling my spiritual and musical void. I have had time to heal from my vocal illnesses, while developing new skills and fostering new musical abilities as well.
I have grown spiritually through the new people I have connected with and with all who have been emotionally supporting me these past few months. I have known the beauty of true rest and begun to know peace like never before.
I have gained new friendships that will last a lifetime. I am incredibly grateful to those precious souls who have joined me on this journey this summer, and words cannot express how much I appreciate your support and encouragement.
I have fostered a new way of thinking about life that involves patience in the waiting.
I have become more comfortable with my surroundings and more confident with myself, which has lead to added vulnerability and the ability to worship like never before. I am more in tune with my emotions and spiritual well-being than ever before.
Finally, I have learned the beauty of patience and, more importantly, trust. For there is no quality more important when it comes to a relationship with the Lord. I have learned (mostly the hard way) that I have to stop doing things on my own, because on my own I will stumble and fall, but with Him I will walk boldly and without faltering.
As always, I am reminded of a song, one that is really dear to my heart and speaks beautifully to the truth of which I have recently been reminded.
“In the silence, in the waiting
Still we can know you are good
All Your Plans are for your glory
Yes, we can know You are good,
Yes, we can know You are good!
The Lord our God is ever faithful
Never changing, through the ages
From this darkness, You will lead us
And forever we will say, You’re the Lord our God.
And forever we will say, You’re the Lord our God!”
–The Lord our God, Kristian Stanfill
I am reminded that even in the quiet moments, even in the times when it seems like we are battling through life on our own, and even in the waiting, He is still there battling alongside us. I don’t know about you, but I believe that is a reason to be joyful today!!